"It is solved by walking" says St. Augustine. After reading Sil's comment, I decided to repent! That is, literally, to rethink. My mind and heart were in a dueling match. There is only one thing to do when that happens. Go for a walk! I headed out to Buttermilk Falls, tuned in to the ethereal sounds of Libera on my MP3 player, and put one foot in front of the other. Why was I backtracking on my plans to walk the Camino? Because I wanted to be comfortable? Because I wanted it my way? This is supposed to be a pilgrimage, not a vacation, after all. There was a reason that the idea to walk the Camino seemed to fall into place this year. Am I losing faith in the idea of walking in faith? That my needs will be provided for in some way? As Sil said, what might I be missing out on that I will not have a chance to recapture for eleven years? Think of all the wonderful people I will miss meeting if I don't walk there this year. Perhaps I need to "celebrate" instead of "meditate" this year. I can always go back again for a quieter camino some other year.
As these thoughts trickled through my brain, a gentle sense of knowing came over me. Voy a caminar El Camino Frances esta primavera, después de todo! (How's my Spanish, Tuula?) Just as my decision was made, a hawk took off from a barren tree branch above me and glided a few hundred yards down the trail.